If you’re not growing your skills, you’re growing your ego

You have experienced this in many places, especially in offices.

Your manager or boss talks about big ideas and uses words that are full of hot air. And in every meeting, he (or she) speaks the same thing. Again and again.

Or sometimes, he suddenly gets angry, or is always reserved, or acts as if he is hiding something.

If you observe closely, behind this brimming ego, what you’ll see is a lack of knowledge or skills.

But, he fears admitting that he doesn’t know something.

To admit that you don’t know something is a big relief. It makes you humane and creates empathy among your co-workers, friends, and family.

But it’s not true that only certain people do this all the time. You and I have done this at least a few times in our lifetime.

I remember something I did when I was in high school.

One day, I was walking from the classroom towards our dormitory. One of my classmates was passing by, and she stopped me. She wanted to ask me the meaning of a Kannada term from the subject she was studying. I told her the meaning without a second thought.

During that time, my classmates thought I was very good at the Kannada language. And to some extent, I was good too. I used to read a lot and practiced creative writing most of the time.

That was exam time, and I still remember her reaction when I answered her question. (Oh God, he knows everything.)

But I was not sure. I went back and checked the dictionary. I was wrong. (No, I didn’t go back and admit it with her.)

But I felt ashamed at what I did.

I had to change how I dealt with such things. You can’t keep the reputation by doing such dumb things, you see.

And not exactly from that day, but over the years, I developed my mindset to admit when I didn’t know something.

But admitting that you don’t know something doesn’t solve the problem.

By accepting you don’t know something, you may appear truthful for the time being. But such repeated admissions create a bad impression about you in the long run. Also, you’re not helping either yourself or the person asking the question.

So, whenever such situations arise, I use a different approach. I answer the question by saying: “I think <THIS> is the answer. But, let’s Google it to make sure”.

This stops me from growing my ego, or even meekly accepting my lack of knowledge.

And when you’re working in a particular field, you cannot escape by saying you don’t know. You will have to try to understand it and be able to answer as quickly as possible. The best is to do it immediately.

If you neglect that, your colleagues or subordinates won’t respect you.

But an even more dangerous situation is when you maintain you know everything. With that, you begin to create an inner fear. And subconsciously you try to cover it up by keeping yourself reserved. It makes you angry often or you begin to talk bigger nonsense.

So, if you don’t work to learn your trade well, you tend to grow an unnecessary ego.

Again, learning is not about reading something and thinking you know everything.

For example, imagine that your team is implementing a new SaaS product. Reading the product instructions or watching a YouTube demo is not going to be enough.

You’ll have to have hands-on experience with the product. Because that’s how you’ll know the actual challenges your team is going to face. Otherwise, you’ll be clueless when your team talks about it in meetings.

If you do that extra work, you’ll be able to answer them well, and you’ll be a good leader.

Remember, if you don’t grow your skills continuously, you tend to grow your ego.

What do you think?



Talk to the sky, and make it a meditative experience

Whenever you are depressed, you put your head down.

And whenever you are joyful and proud, your head automatically goes up. Isn’t it? (Observe your sports heroes and how they react in both instances).

It happens the other way too.

Sit somewhere, raising your head to the sky, you will experience a joy raising within you. Then, put your head down. Soon, all depressing thoughts begin to haunt you.

Why does this happen?

A cosmic light or prana is continuously showering on you from the cosmos. This cosmic prana is permeating your body and is keeping you healthy and happy. Whenever you raise your head, you let that cosmic prana to shower and enter your being.

But, whenever you put your head down, it stops showering on you. Then, you suddenly feel broken from this connection with the cosmos. This breaking creates loneliness, a feeling of deprivation.

So, it is always energizing to keep your head up – whether you are sitting, walking or even sleeping.

But, you can take this a step further.

Raise your head, and talk to the sky.

What to talk?

There are many things you cannot tell anyone in the world. There are secrets deep within your heart, there are deep cravings and aspirations. And there are many confessions to make. But, you don’t find anyone with whom you can share all this. Right?

Here is an opportunity. Just open your heart to the sky and speak.

Be in an open field. Sit down leaning to a tree or lie down on the grass. And begin to speak. Go on talking – even if you feel that you are talking nonsense.
The more you talk, the more trust you develop towards the sky. And the more trust you develop, the more your heart opens up.

Religiously, people make confessions with a deity form. But, this deity has a personality. Unless you trust this deity with your whole heart, you don’t open yourself up completely.

So, don’t worry about imagining a God or an angel up there in the sky. Just keep it as an unending emptiness.

As you continue to express, the pent-up emotions will start releasing. Sometimes, you may feel to cry also. Don’t resist. Let those emotions release.

Soon, you will find your breath deepening, your body relaxing, and a kind of meditativeness rise in you.

Breaking old thought patterns to create a new life

Your habits are nothing but your old thought patterns. The thought patterns that won’t let you experience anything new.

If you have failed in achieving a goal, an exam, or a relationship in the past, the thought pattern of a failure might have lingered within you, keeping you from welcoming a new success, a new relationship or a new place to live in.

The above method of talking to the sky can break such old thought patterns.

But, you need to make it a deeper emotional experience for that to happen. Give yourself completely to this act of expressing yourself.

Don’t hold anything back. Anything related to your life, anything you wanted to do or have done – all that your heart wants to express. Just let it outpour.

This may feel strange in the first few days. But soon you will know that you are connected to the sky. And you will begin to feel that whole cosmos is listening to you.

An eternal companion

As the days pass, you will build a deep connection with the whole existence. The existence becomes your companion.

This companionship dismantles all kinds of negative bondings you were suffering from. If you continue this practice for whole life, it continuously purifies you from all Karma, giving you an energy bath and keeping you fresh as an eternal waterfall.

You can just continue with this simple method and be happy.

Or you can take this companionship to a higher stage through the path of devotion.

Letting go of the lonely turtle from your mind today

One evening, I was walking along the bank of the Tunga river. On the way, I found a turtle plodding through sand, towards the river.

When I reached near, I found the turtle stop moving, pulling in its legs and head. I picked it up and it appeared like an empty shell.

For years, I did the same – I always shrank my conscious back to my body whenever I faced a stranger. Have you done that too?

It is the fear of facing a stranger or a strange situation that turns us into turtles. Shrinking feels safe.

You might ask what is consciousness and what is shrinking.

Your consciousness is your awareness. At one time, you are aware of everything around you, and at another time, you are aware of only your body. In the first instance, your consciousness is expanded, while in the second, it is shrunk.

To be more clear, imagine this:

You are in an open field enjoying the green grass and butterflies fluttering around. Suddenly, a jeep comes from somewhere and 4-5 people get down. Now, you are not the same person who was enjoying nature. You are aware of the strangers – they are better built, better dressed and more active than you. You look at yourself. Your consciousness is shrunk.

And whenever your consciousness is shrunk, you feel lonely and sad.

This kind of expanding and sinking of yourself is your ego.

Whenever your consciousness contracts, it makes you feel that the people that you have excluded from your consciousness are against you. Soon those people will start acting against you.

You have not done anything to them. You think you just have excluded them. But you have abandoned them.

But, if you expand your consciousness and begin to include those people as part of you, soon you will realize that they begin to support you.

So, whenever you are afraid of any person, begin to feel that the person is a part of you. This very feeling brings makes you feel powerful and relaxed.
But with the current state, you may not easily drop the ego and accept people as part of you.

Redefine yourself and your mission

You need to redefine yourself, your purpose and the mission of your life.

Redefining yourself is about who you are, what you stand for and what makes you proud. This can be done by finding your mission and master.

A mission in your life, a dream to build something big, helps you let go of ego. Look at the people who have dreamed of building great products, they were so humble and egoless.

And there were also people, who had God as their master. They were also without ego.

Thank you. If you have a question, ask in the comments section below: